


No place in heaven

by Rosesforniko



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Falling In Love, Gay Rights, Gay Ryotaro, I love my gay dad cops, Internalized Transphobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Post persona 4, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Trans Male Character, trans bisexual Adachi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 10:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16951902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosesforniko/pseuds/Rosesforniko
Summary: After Adachi got out of jail, they went to drink like in the old days





	No place in heaven

As usual, they went out to drink that night after work, they were alone at the bar because it was late. 

Adachi can clearly remember the look of the bar, it was a small local in the middle of the commercial district of Inaba.

Its outward appearance was no different from that of the other typical Japanese bars around in the area, except for the little red lanterns in the entry.

The interior of the bar is not too far from the typical Japanese bar, more lanterns here and there and some plants, the bar counter and some chairs.

They sat side by side in front of the bar counter and ordered two beers.

"So...how are you now? Are you getting used again to work?" Dojima asked Adachi. His tone was really calm and comforting.

"Y-yeah... I didn’t think they would let me work here again after what happened.. anyway, it's better than that lonely jail." The boy at the bar brought them the beers and Adachi took a sip from one.

"Yeah... maybe I helped with that, you know I regularly visit you so I convinced they that you really had changed, besides that I need a slav- partner, I mean" Dojima laughed and drank his beer to order another one at the time.

"I was really alone there... You are the only one who visits me..." Adachi would never admit it but he thought that the loneliness of the cell he was in would end up killing him, Dojima was like his sunshine, his lifeboat, what made him stay sane 

"Why did you refuse to see me at the beginning?" Adachi's faint smile twisted at that question.

"Because...I thought you were going to say ugly things to me... Things like you hate me or something... I...I put Nanako in danger… I did really terrible things, I lied, manipulated and I betrayed you… I was just too afraid…" Dojima hitted Adachi.

"Of course I don't hate you! I did always believe in you and I was sure of that you would change!" At this point he was a little drunk. "Adachi I... You were always important to me..." Adachi blushes.

"I-important? I am just your work partner... Dojima, you are drunk" Adachi giggled.

"Maybe I am but I really missed you" Dojima ruffled his hair and adachi smiled

"Y-yeah, I believe it..." Adachi doesn't actually believe it. As the night progressed, he kept running away from the subject. 

Even before he was in prison he was already starting develop feelings for his partner, but he thought the simple idea of Dojima loving him back or missing him was preposterous, so he decided the alcohol was talking for Dojima.

The time was passing and the more drunk they are because of it. 

Dojima held Adachi from his shoulders suddenly.

"Uh...Sir...?" Adachi was so surprised.

"Listen carefully Adachi... I didn't want to tell you this until you were free because this can be...difficult if you were still in prisson. But Im in love with you, I've grown feelings for you since before you got in jail... When we used to work together, just like now… I love you and I want you to be Nanako's dad" He was all drunk but his words were true, Adachi was shocked, he didn't know how to react, Dojima, the man who he fallen in love years ago was standing in front of him telling him that he loves him..? Man, that’s sure a joke. Or at least that was what Adachi thought and really wanted to believe.

Dojima was really close to Adachi and seeing he wasn't going to get an answer, he kissed Adachi.

Adachi was even more shocked of this but he was too drunk to care, he notices Dojima's lips pushing him so he kissed him back, Dojima caressed his hair with one hand and with the other he grabbed him by the waist and pushed Adachi against him. 

Adachi feelt like he was in heaven but that warm didn't last long, Adachi put his feet back on earth and gently pushed he away.

"No..." He said firmly, holding back the urge to cry "This is not okay Dojima you... We are just drunk, is the alcohol talking..." Dojima seemed sad when he heard those words.

"Adachi, my feelings for you are real... It was always real..." Dojima caressed Adachi's cheek.

"I... I'm sorry... I think I need to go home and rest... see you monday at job..." Adachi grabbed his jacket and got ready to leave.

"Let me walk you home at least..."

"No...it's okay I... I want to be alone..." Adachi blushed suddenly, he realizes too horny because the kiss so he lefts the bar trying to hide it. 

Adachi runned to his home leaving Dojima alone at the bar.

As soon as Adachi get home he lay down on the bed trying to get the feeling of Dojima's lips pushing his lips out of his head. It was driving him crazy  
But thinking about it... Dojima will never love him. Of course not. He is a murderer... Besides that he is...he is trans. Adachi has a lot of internalized transphobia. A lot of dysphoria too. He had all his legal documents changed but he still thinks he is not manly enough and that burns him inside. 

He cried hugging the pillow, what if Dojima discovers he is trans? He was too afraid of that… He hates himself, he really loves Dojima but he was a coward, he was too afraid of hurting Dojima or ending up getting hurted… he dried his tears and he finally fell asleep.

He woke up the next day because someone was ringing his door, but he had a headache from the alcohol.

He opened the door and it was Dojima, suddenly he remembered all that happened last night, his face turned red and he babbled as he spoke.

"D-dojima? W-what do you want?" Adachi flustered.

"Hey, I remember you told me you didn't have headaches medicine so I bought you." Dojima gived him a pharmacy plastic bag with some medicine.

"You don't have to, you know.." Adachi grabs the bag and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Just say thanks, Adachi. I will always take care about you, partner." Those words make Adachi shudder, his memories of last night hitted him again.

He swallowed the pill and offered Dojima a chair.

"So... Besides medicine, what brings you here?"

"That’s all, partner. Just the medicine and to make sure you were fine."

"Yeah...so...about last night..." Adachi was divided about it, on one side he desires with all his soul that Dojima's feelings were genuine, however, he didn't know how to have a relationship but surely Dojima could teach him...

On the other hand, he wanted it to be only the alcohol talking for Dojima, he was afraid. Afraid of getting hurt...

"Oh...that? I didn't remember anything pal, I think I drank too much" Dojima let out a laugh. Adachi felt his heart broken, maybe this is what he wanted but at the same time it hurts. It hurts like hell, he feels... used in some way, he tried to pretend he didn't remember anything too, at least he was good on it, on pretend.

They chatted a little and Dojima invited him to lunch. Adachi accepted and Dojima left his house.

"We can meet at Junes later” Dojima laughed “You know, Nanako really loves that place and I’m sure she will love it even more if you are in” Adachi smiled. He didn’t saw Nanako since he left jail. He missed her a lot but he was nervous, Nanako was putted in a great danger because of him and even Dojima sayed to him thousand times that Nanako wantedx to see him and missed him, he can’t believe it.

"S-sure, I’ll be there, just give me a call."

A few minutes after Dojima left his house, Adachi sat in the bed and cried again hugging the pillow, he feeel so hurt. His heart feelt like it was about to stop in any moment and his mind was all dizzy. He had been thinking about it all night and Dojima didn't remember it. 

He dried his tears, maybe it was better like that... Better if just him are getting hurted.

He picked up some clothes and left them in the chair. He really missed Nanako too.. But he felt like if he saw her with Dojima he would cry at any moment.

Adachi sighed.


End file.
